Two Lines
by AnnaFIRTH
Summary: AU. It had been a year. 365 days since Kate closed her eyes to never open them again. A year since I closed myself to the world. This has nothing to do with the ending of season 3. COMPLETE. ONE-SHOT


**This has nothing to do with Kate's shooting in season 3. Set season 6. AU.**

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It had been a year. 365 days since Kate closed her eyes to never open them again. A year since I closed myself to the world. Alexis decided to move to London because she couldn't stand seeing me like that. She had warned me, _Dad I know you loved her and I know that you miss her but it's been a year. Move on, go out and meet new people. _That was her line. She repeated it over and over again but I didn't pay attention, I just let it flow. I couldn't move on, I couldn't live without Kate by my side; it was physically and mentally impossible.

I've lost a lot of weight since the day Josh Davidson, Kate's ex-boyfriend and member of the surgery team came out of the operation room and told me that there was nothing to do, the bullet had gone through her heart and that was it; they couldn't bring her back to me. I broke down in front of him, collapsing against the white wall of the waiting room, and finally letting my body fall against the cold floor. _I'm so sorry Rick, _that's the last thing I heart before Josh squeezed my knee and left. I don't even know how long I sat there but hours later a nurse came to me and told me to go home and get some rest. I couldn't move; I didn't want to. I couldn't leave Kate's side, even if she was dead down in the morgue. Just to think about it made me threw up, and I did; right there in the waiting room.

My mother came to pick me up and as much as I resisted her I finally agreed and went home, she moved back in someday that week because she didn't want me to do something stupid and came up with the lame excuse that she had to take care of me. I didn't sleep that night; to be honest I haven't slept that much since the day she died, I just can't find the sleep.

* * *

"_Kate put the vest on." I said grabbing her hand before she opened the car door to get out. _

_The 14__th__ Precinct had called saying that they knew where our suspect was hiding and Espo and Ryan decided to join us in the arrest. _

"_Rick," she turned to me. He hair was up in a ponytail - I loved it when she wore it like that, "We're just going to get the guy. There's not gonna be a gun battle, don't worry."_

_I let it go. There was nothing to do when she was on stubborn mode._

* * *

I wish I hadn't let it go. She'd still be here with me. Maybe we'd be married or maybe getting there. Maybe I would have proposed; I wanted to, I had the ring ready but I never found the right moment; now I wish I hadn't been such a coward.

I wish so many things that will never happen, and I can't even write them because I keep picturing us as Nikki and Rock and I break into pieces. I don't want them to have the happy ending we would have had. I don't want the fiction to be true when the reality will never be.

But I have to. Gina is tired of me and has forced me to finish the last Heat book with a nice ending; _You killed Derrick Storm, Rick. You can't do the same with Nikki Heat. _That was her line; even one time she had the guts to add _Kate wouldn't have wanted that. _I was angry at her for that but Gina was right, Kate wouldn't have wanted that and neither did I. So I wrote a happy ending, more like my mother typed it on my laptop as I recited the first words that came to my mind. That's right I gave them a random ending because I didn't want to think about it much. It hurt. Still does every time I see the cover art hanged on my office wall with all the others. But what it hurt the most was the dedication. There was so much I wanted to say in two lines. I came up with the right words one morning while staring at the photo of us that I had on my bedside table.

_I wish we would have more time, but the five years by your side were by far the best of my life. See you soon love._

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_**So this is it. Don't kill me please. I was watching a re-run of Grey's Anatomy when this came to my mind. **_

_**I have to say it's nice to be back! I will try to write post-episodes from next Monday's episode on.**_

_**-Anna. **_


End file.
